March 31, 2014

10 Little Pom Pom Monsters

I Whipped these up in a couple hours for a cutie pie monster loving little guy's birthday.

I'll forget to mention that I actually forgot his birthday and he'll be receiving these a little late.... So while you all are SOOO  impressed with these Little Pom Pom Monsters cuteness, you will just keep on thinking I'm an awesome friend who makes awesome gifts for my friend's little people. ;) I prefer to keep that fantasy going in my own head. ;)

  Happy Birthday Little Cub! 

Life. Learning To Let Go Of Expectations. Accepting What Is. Go With The Flow.


I know it's been awhile.

I miss you.

Life is

And I'm apparently slow to adjust..... My expectations of how  I think things 'should' be.... Which just so happens to be very different than what they are.

I'm learning. I'll catch on one of these days.

Probably just in time for it all to change again... I'm sure ;)

But hey that's part of the fun around here!

I hope to stop in a little more often.

I have an idea about instead of posting the novels with tons of pictures I used to do and just cannot find time for these days. How about just a nice little....

Hi, nice to see you. Here is a little fun we're still having around here. Enjoy! :)

I can do that..... I think.... we'll see ;) 

September 29, 2013

God banged on my door at 2 am, I answered.

Recently people have made a few comments about how I am a saint, or super special, or Wonderful!  It’s usually followed up by something along the lines of “I could never do that'’
It’s makes me quite uncomfortable.

I am a “saint” only in the sense I am a sinner saved by the grace and mercy of God.
I am “super special” only in the sense that God created me for a special purpose.
I am “wonderful” only in the sense that my Creator knitted me so and loves me dearly.

Seriously, I have no super powers or abilities beyond what my Creator has chosen to bless me with
 and Guess What...
 you have access to the exact same power source as me!!

So your “I could never do that” is a lie, an excuse, wait no, I guess it's in part truth because let me tell you ....
 I CAN’T DO IT!! Only God is getting it done.

I’m struggling y’all.
What ever you see going on in my life that makes you think I’ve got it all together, I’m a saint and special…. ppffsstts!!! I am only trying (and failing in many areas) to walk obediently on the path God has laid before me. Actually most days I’m not even walking, I’m stumbling, crawling, tumbling down the path. I feel so beat up on some days I wonder if God has been dragging me along or  worse left me here to be beat up on by the devil because He is so disappointed in me and my lack of ability. Now I know that is ridiculousness because God is faithful and He has promised to never leave or forsake me…. but still, like I said I’m struggling y’all. Whatever I may be accomplishing these days… it’s not me or my ability… it’s ONLY the grace of God carrying me through.

To my beautiful Jesus loving friends who tell me “I could never to that”. Seriously honey, if Jesus had a 10 year old girl banging on your front door at 2 in the morning begging for help, you’d turn her away?! I don’t believe it for one second. Jesus brings into your home a beautiful (even if a bit challenging) young lady and says “Protect this one. Love on her. Show her a different family life than she has experienced so far” You’d look up at Him and say “No thank you that’s too hard go find someone else” Nope you wouldn't. You may think it (as I have) but when it came down to it, those big brown tear filled eyes looking up at you, arms squeezing around you saying "please help me" you'd do just as I have. Squeeze back, your own eyes filled with tears, praying, begging God to help this child and when He answered back "I am, I sent her to you"  You'd do just as I did and  promise to do everything in your power to help her.
Now I do know many people who would turn these girls away. Who would avert their eyes, turn their heads, and say to themselves ‘Not my problem” but my Jesus friends?!? No, I do not believe you would do that.

See because I know you my Jesus friends, love Jesus. I know you understand how hopelessly lost we all were before He called our names. I know you have felt the love a Creator and the embrace of a Savior. You stood before a crowd of witness’s one day and declared your old life dead, was baptized and raised to new life in Christ. You are marked, sealed, and empowered by the indwelling of the Holy Spirit. You are the very hands, feet, and heart of Jesus on earth. I know you have read countless times the command to Go!, to love, to feed, to clothe, to share the gospel! You know God’s heart to care for the broken, the abused, the lost, the forgotten, the lonely because you were once cared for by the hand of God when broken, abused, lost, forgotten, and lonely. So I believe if God banged on your door at 2 am, you would answer.  Just like I did.

So dear friends quit trying to put me up on a pedestal of some kind of sainthood because I answered a door and I’m struggling to stay on the path. You could and would do the exact same as I did. Actually, many of you are doing it now. You have joined me on this path to care for these young ladies. You’re praying, you’re loving on them, you’re listening to my cries of 'How can I do this?!' and encouraging me. This is where God has lead us. This is what He has asked of us. This is what He will give us the power to sustain. All we have to do is open the door and say here I am God use me.


August 31, 2013

Beautiful…. Struggle in Faith

Follow up to this post …. Oh, how life has changed since typing those words less than six months ago!!

I won that contest and was so blessed to get to attend Summit 9. What I did not imagine while I was frantically typing up that post very last minute in a desperate hope, totally sure that nothing would come of it, was that ….totally beside the fact that I really REALLY did not expect to win, the best case scenario in my head at the time was that some Summit 9 head honcho might read it and offer me a discount and then I could use that as ‘proof’ to  convince my hubby ‘see God wants me to go’ and then we’d work together to try and figure out getting me there….but God…. providing more than we can ever ask or imagine…. I won the contest…AND…folks stepped up to supply my every need  to get there… I was loaned a car to drive up, my hotel was taken care of, folks took vacation days from work to watch my children… just WOW!!! (PTL!!) God really showed up and provided at that time…. but the other thing, I totally did not see coming…..  Beautiful
 I mean yes we were in foster parenting classes at the time. It was on our radar that a child(ren) might be coming in the future… but we were not even at the half way mark of the foster parent licensing process. They kept telling us we shouldn’t expect any children for at least a year plus…

But God…. had other plans….

After writing those words and even before I packed up and headed to Summit… Beautiful was in our home.  We had not expected that when we offered to let her come stay with us(for a couple of days!) that a week later Family and Children Services would be sitting in our dining room…telling us the (very ugly) history of this beautiful child…and asking us were we willing to keep her as a long term foster child after we completed our licensing process. It had been only a few weeks since  I had typed my heart to help desperate children out of their ugly circumstances… willing to be Jesus’s hands and feet…heart and love to children praying , waiting, hoping for a rescue from abuse…. and here was a child… we said yes we were willing to long term foster her….


But God….. still had different plans than I had asked or imagined at the time….

He placed on my heart a different scenario (other than the couple of days we had offered or the long term foster placement Family and Children Services had in mind) where this story could go…and I immediately balked at it….*that* really was not do-able …. for so many reason's... and still He persisted…and I began to see where He was going… but still thinking….not going to happen….she was in foster care…under government care / supervision… we’re in classes and all we can do is follow their rules…do the best we can with what we got and love on this child…. well… that really was not what was best for this child…. her home life was not what was best …and if I was going to be Jesus's hands, feet, and heart for this child…then I would have to be the one who on this earth (with God’s power and help) to fight for what’s best for her. Be her voice (until she is able to find her own), her shield, her advocate, her champion. Her safe place.


So with MUCH prayers...and much fear… I stepped out in faith expecting the doors to be slammed in my face…and boom!!..Granted full legal custody!!! WOW!!! Praise God!! Seriously….  a ‘solider’ full of fear and trembling and certain of defeat…weakly steps unto the battle field and VICTORY!  (I’m thinking of a Sunday School class song…”My God is so BIG! So STRONG! and so MIGHTY! There’s nothing my God cannot do!)

And this next part…really is ridiculous, man am I hard of learning or what?!?…but it is what it is…. even after all that… it’s a few months later and boy am I weary, and over-whelmed, still scared, still doubtful, and still asking God… Am I really the one You want to take this on?!?!?

I mean I know I have the heart to help… I LOVE this child… but most every second of everyday I’m just clueless how to help her… she’s got wounds…still gaping and pouring blood…. We’re in triage at the moment and I feel like my very poor first aid skills are just not adequate to give her life…. and they are not…. I do not doubt….. What I do doubt…. (and am so ashamed to admit .. but God already knows so might as well be honest.. my words do not shock or surprise Him) I find myself living in doubt and fear of Him showing up for her… Will He provide? Will He heal? Will He take broken, beaten, abused and make it new? HE already has!!! He has for me time and time and time again… but still here I am wondering if He’s made a mistake…entrusting this child to me…. What was He thinking?!?! This child needs more than I am equipped to give her!


Yet, still, here we are…one impossible mountain to climb after another falling down around us… someone said something along the lines of “God does not call the equipped…He equips the called”

I’m not sure were we are headed from here. But I did whole heartily mean those words at the time I typed them… and they each are still my hearts desire today…even after walking (only a short portion of) God’s path, finding it much harder than I had imagined and too often finding myself struggling to remain submitted.  But He is faithful! He who began a good work WILL BRING IT UNTO COMPLETION!

Our part in the 2nd girl's story still unfolding...but if God wants her here, here she will be welcomed! Pray! this girl needs a rescue/ intervention and I'm trying to walk submitted..but we're still surrounded by mountains at the moment)

Jesus we need you!

And THANK YOU!!! (really really really THANK YOU) all those who have been praying, and listening, and supporting and being Jesus’s hands, feet, ears, wallet, and heart to me, my family over the years and especially now. We appreciate you! We are grateful to God for you! and we love you! May God continue to bless you richly as you strive to be open and submitted to His guidance and call.
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