Ponderings On Parenting

I’m working on / working out (?) many of my personal beliefs about a variety of things.

One of them currently in the forefront is, motherhood, parenting, discipline…

spanking.

 I’m not satisfied with, nor proud of, many of my automatic responses in parenting.

Particularly in regards to spanking

I used to believe in spanking.

I encouraged others to do it. I quoted Bible verses about it.

I judged misbehaving children as obviously needing more “butt whoopings”.

Now, I totally completely do not believe in spankings,

yet, I still sometimes find myself raising my hand….:-(

That’s how I was raised…I got a spanking for ev-ery-thing

it’s not an excuse but it seems to be ingrained in me or something.

I have to  purposely, consciously, willfully put my hand back down,

or on his back gently, squat down and try to see the real reason behind the behavior.

I’d rather pray how to effectively address the heart issue

but that’s not yet an auto response for me.

Hopefully, one day…SOON!

See I don’t want obedience out of fear of me, fear of being hit.

I want risk assessments, thought out choices, 

making a decision after considering the consequences.

I want consideration of others who may be affected.

I KNOW! I KNOW!

A LOT to expect from a two year old

but I’m  trying to lay down a strong foundation now

for things I hope/pray for as he grows into an adult.

Is Bam Bam capable of thinking through

I want to throw this > Mommy doesn’t want me to throw >

I might hit sissy > That will hurt > I will have to pick it up after I throw it >

decision to throw or not > then living with the consequence…??

I’m not 100% sure but I think he gets through some of it.

I see him hesitate sometimes, he looks at me with ball in hand, up in the air,

or on that chair he has knocked over a 100+ times.

If he decides not to knock over the chair *this* time then yeah!

Woo Hoo! I will love him!

but if he decides to knock over the chair again..

He will hear mommy tell him it’s not ok to throw chairs (I yell it to often)

and he will pick it up again,

if he refuses he will sit in time out until he picks it up and

if I have to I will remove the chair from the room for the rest of the day,

AND I will love him!

He has to learn there is a process for  making decisions.

(Heck me too!! Think, consider, decide, follow through..no more bad auto responses!)

Even  if he continues to choose ones I don’t like or prefer him to decide differently

I still love him.

And as long as he is thinking them through, knows what he’s getting himself into

has considered the consequences and decided he can live with that..

then I might feel like I have a teeny little success in this parenting adventure.

I’m right there beside him, learning to reign in impulses,

make better choices, learning to control my emotions.

Parenting….NOT what I was expecting

.

Save the hineys!

Here are a few reads that got me thinking and heading toward change with the spanking issue

I Used to Hit My Children by The Single Crunch

 No Bad Kids-Toddler Discipline Without Shame

Be The Gentle Leader Your Child Needs  and several other posts by  Ms. Janet.

Thanks for stopping by!

Are any of you struggling to make changes in your parenting ways,

questioning everything you once believed on the subject?

You know, the expert you were, before, the kids came along? lol :-)

Feel free to leave your thoughts below.

Building A Trampoline With Daddy

 

“OPEN!!!”

Finally!

Make sure this box is acceptable for baby sissy

Now I've got to make sure we have all the parts

Think we need a couple of theses

Let me show you Daddy, this goes inside here like this

I’ll get started on the next one daddy

I got this

ok so maybe you line it up and I’ll push it through

(Butterfly Break)

You tighten it up while I hold it right here ok Daddy

Yep! That looks pretty tight.

Couple more to tighten up

Building a trampoline is hard work!

(Meltdown #1)

Base frame is together

Now onto the polls for the sides

Then the bouncy mat part

Can I get on it now Daddy?

(Melt down #2)

How about now?

(Meltdown 2 1/2)

OK fine so I’ll help get all the springs on

I think a little Lightning McQueen will look good here

Let’s cover the poles for safety

(Meltdown #3 or was it #4 I’m losing count)

Make sure you get the side nets up right Daddy

I’m in! I'M IN!

OUT

IN again

YIPEEE!!

Jump, jump, jump, jump

It’s just a season we’re having fun in it!

Thanks for stopping by!